Red Combs and Monkey Boys
by Sioned
Summary: In a general effort to make her annoying older brother leave her alone, Kagura attempts to find the perfect one for him, or at least someone. But, with all of her attempts failing, she then realizes exactly WHY her friend Yura wanted to come over to her h


In a general effort to make her annoying older brother leave her alone, Kagura attempts to find "the perfect one" for him, or at least someone. But, with all of her attempts failing, she then realizes exactly WHY her friend Yura wanted to come over to her house so much...

A/N: This is a collaborative piece; the Authors are Sioned and Skittlez (OnlyCoolEmoBoysKiss) both of who are fanfiction authors you should read if you are reading this work. Pairings include (but are not limited to) Sesshoumaru/Kagura and Naraku/Yura

* * *

Red Combs and Monkey Boys 

Chapter 1: Of Fancy Dinners and Stolen Monkeys

* * *

"Thanks for taking me out to this fancy place, Sesshoumaru, food's great," Kagura said, shoveling a bit more steak in her mouth as cleanly as she could. The other restaurant goers (snooty middle-aged rich-bitches, in Kagura's humble opinion) looked at her, appalled by her rushed eating habits.

The silver-haired male across from her nodded. He began eating his own food slower than his companion, displaying careful manners. "Could you slow down? You're making a scene," he asked flatly, after noticing more and more people staring at her in abject disgust.

"Shut up," Kagura snapped. "I'm hungry and I paid for the food so that's that. If people want to make idiots of themselves watching someone ELSE eat than that's there problem." Satisfied with her rather loud explanation she went back to eating.

"I was the one who paid," Sesshoumaru muttered, albeit to himself. If Kagura was in a foul mood Sesshoumaru felt it best to let her be. Besides, there were certain advantages to having her with him tonight he thought as Kagura shot a look of pure venom at the terrified young waitress who usually gave him silent sultry looks.

Kagura opened her mouth, about to forge an attempt at conversation after she had finished her meal, but her cell phone ringing interrupted her. Pulling it out of her purse she groaned. "Naraku..." she muttered. "What do you want?" she asked.

"Hey sis," the man on the other end laughed nervously. "Can you come get me outta the slammer?" he asked dully.

"Damnit. What did you do now?" she asked irritably, keeping her voice low.

"I tried to steal some guy's monkey, what's it to ya?" he retorted. "Just come pick me up!"

Kagura resisted the tempting urge to scream herself hoarse at him. A monkey? He was interrupting her precious, rare time with Sesshoumaru all over a fucking monkey!

"You are dead when we get home," she hissed evilly at the phone snapping it shut before he could come up with smarmy comment. Kagura turned to Sesshoumaru wincing inwardly at his look.

"...Tomorrow?" she tried hopefully. He gave her the look.

"I suppose. If you want to come over and watch movies," he explained calmly. "I'm babysitting Rin again," he added.

Kagura smiled slightly, she liked Rin well enough to share her Sesshoumaru-time with her. "That would be fine, I'd love to watch kiddy movies with you and your little sister," she replied smugly.

Glaring slightly, Sesshoumaru laid a tip down on the table and they left.

Kagura opened her car door; she turned to Sesshoumaru and kissed him goodnight, and left to bail her brother out of prison.

Before she started to drive away, she kicked off her stiletto heels and rubbed at newly forming blisters. "Goddamned shoes, going to kill me one of these days."

* * *

"Lemme outta here!" a horrified teen screamed as Naraku advanced on him. 

"...The end." Naraku finished slowly chuckling darkly. The prisoner next to him let out a wail.

"Liar! Liar! You did not DO my sister! She's faithful. She's---aww man! Are those her earrings?"

"You know it," Naraku grinned; the teen's retches grew louder. How very amusing but he was still in a sour mood. One second faster and that monkey would have been HIS. He scowled pondering up ways to torture that idiotic Nobunaga.

"Having fun Naraku, dear?"

Naraku didn't bother to turn his head and acknowledge the voice.

The officer opened the cell door. "Shirozaru, you're free to go," he told Naraku dully.

Naraku strutted out of the cell, his eyes meeting the angry red ones that belonged to his twin sister Kagura. "Hey sis, thanks for coming to get me," he said casually.

"You are so dead," she said as they walked out of the drab gray building and back to Kagura's car. "You need a Goddamned life! I'm not going to do all your stupid dirty work all of the time. I'm not your lackey," she growled as they drove towards their house. "And you were supposed to be taking care of our younger siblings for Dad tonight! Why did you leave the house to chase that fucking monkey?"

"I had the kids occupied," he retorted smoothly. "They weren't doing anything bad."

"Knowing Hakudoushi, I _doubt_ that..." Kagura snapped back.

"Now, now...let's not be biased about our younger brother." Naraku chided. "It's not his fault he's smarter than you..."

"Naraku..." Kagura ground out clenching her fists. Her brother however paid no attention to her.

"Anyway, Dad's not coming home tonight either..." Naraku paused, his scarlet eyes dancing. "He has some-ahem-_business_ to attend to..." He trailed off wickedly.

Kagura threw him a disgusted glare. "So we'll be expecting new siblings in 9 months then? You sick bastard."

"Ah what a vivid imagination you have, Kagura dear..." Naraku answered cheerfully. "I plan to name them after your boyfriend...how is he by the way?"

"He's fine," she replied coldly. "How's your love life...wait, you don't have one!" she snapped sarcastically.

"Oh, hahaha," Naraku laughed mirthlessly. "Me and a friend have...arrangements, don't you worry. Your brother is getting some ass," he taunted.

Kagura made a disgusted face. "Don't talk about that kind of stuff with me. I know good and well you aren't screwing Renkotsu, so shut up..."

"He said that? I'm hurt..." Naraku mocked, pretending to stab himself in the heart. "I knew that horrible woman was influencing his thoughts!"

Kagura groaned. "Shut up."

Contemplating between smacking her brother or answering her ringing phon-_oh shit_. Her brother quickly snatched her cell phone and clicked it open.

"Give me that!" Kagura demanded taking one hand of the wheel and grabbing at her phone. Naraku batted her hand away easily, smirking.

"Hey..." He drawled at the phone.

Kagura could hear the voice from where she sat. "Hey, Naraku!" the peppy-but-not-cheerleader-peppy-more-of-a-caffeine-high-peppy voice of her friend Yura exclaimed. "Lemme talk to Kagura, 'kay?"

"Of course, anything for you, Yura," he replied smoothly, handing the phone to Kagura.

"Hey Yura, what is it?" Kagura asked as she parked the car in their driveway and got out, leaving her stilettos abandoned in the backseat.

"Hey, Kagura. Did I leave my favorite red comb over there? I can't find it anywhere!" she replied.

"Yeah, you did. Need to come over and get it?" she asked.

"Yup, s'at okay?" Yura asked.

"Sure, I don't care. Just bailed Mr. Asshole out of jail again," she said casually. "Come on over and pick it up, see you in a few."

"Bye-bye!"

Naraku frowned at the windshield hunching his shoulders slightly. Kagura noticed this and asked irritably,

"What is it?"

Naraku rubbed his chin in mock contemplation. "Just wondering how pissed Yura's gonna get when she finds out I sold her comb on EBay..."

"...She'll kill you."

"Should be interesting."

Kagura threw a quick glance at her calm brother. "Are you fucking serious?"

Naraku frowned at her. "That hurts Kagura, when your beloved sibling, your twin hold you in such low regards."

"Shut the fuck up! Did you really-"

"Did Naraku really what?" Yura asked, walking up behind the two.

"Nothing Yura!" they both exclaimed.

Naraku smirked, and pulled the red comb out of his pocket, handing it to the short black-haired girl. "I was holding onto it, for safekeeping. Stay! Hang out a little while. We'd be happy to have you," he said, pushing her inside the house along with Kagura.

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Come on Yura, let's get away from this freak," she said, tugging Yura into her bedroom and closing and locking the door.

"So...what was going on?" she asked curiously, her jewel-pink eyes blinking.

"Naraku was kidding around and said he sold your comb on EBay, he didn't- but it was a stupid joke."

Yura giggled. "Oh my...that would be really bad if he did sell it, wouldn't it?" she asked. "I would have to scalp him..." she added, getting a strange fond look in her eyes, like she would want no greater pleasure in the world than scalping Kagura's twin brother.

Kagura looked at her friend uneasily. But right now was not the time to ponder on Yura's...uniqueness. Now was the time for action! For purpose! For pride!

* * *

"Miss Kagura!" the brown-haired younger sister of Sesshoumaru exclaimed as she walked in the door, launching herself at the older woman and attaching to her legs. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in such a long time and I was wondering if you and Sesshoumaru had broken up or something because you know he doesn't talk about that kinda stuff but-" she rambled, barely taking a breath through the whole sentence. 

"Rin, be quiet and let Kagura go," Sesshoumaru told the either-year-old-perpetual-motion-machine calmly.

She nodded and released Kagura's leg; running and jumping on the big comfy couch in the living room. "Let's watch a movie!" she exclaimed.

Kagura smiled a little. This day wouldn't be dull, at least.

"You sure know how to show a girl a good time..." Kagura sighed happily, basking in the warm feel of Sesshoumaru's arms around her as they watched the ending scenes of the movie. Rin was sleeping nearby, covered by a blanket, the lights were low and Kagura was content to just lie in Sesshoumaru's arms for the next hour or so.

"It has been a while..." Sesshoumaru agreed and Kagura raised an eyebrow at his almost relaxed tone.

After about another twenty minutes, both Kagura and Sesshoumaru had dozed off. But were awakened by a rather loud noise.

"Bankotsu! Get your boyfriend away from me!" someone screamed.

They looked towards the door, jumping apart as they saw Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru's younger brother, stumble in looking flustered, with his shirt half off and his pants in danger of falling down around his ankles.

"Jakotsu! Control yourself!" someone else yelled as a femme-looking black-haired boy ran after the terrified Inuyasha.

Kagura started laughing, and Sesshoumaru's eyes rose in amusement.

Inuyasha jerked around and spotted them blushing furiously. "What the--" He let out a yell as Jakotsu slammed into him.

"Fuck! Get offa me!"

A braided boy, Inuyasha's friend Bankotsu, ran in, grabbing Jakotsu by the collar and attempting to drag him away from his friend. "Please, Jakotsu, don't be difficult!"

Jakotsu squirmed, but then stopped. "Oh? So you're dragging me away? What a turn on..." he purred.

Bankotsu blushed but didn't relent, eventually disappearing out the door.

Inuyasha got up of the floor twitching. He glared at Kagura and Sesshoumaru as if it were their fault he was mauled by an overenthusiastic... gay man.

"That wasn't...it didn't..." Inuyasha spluttered, trying to explain the circumstances. Sesshoumaru smirked.

"You bring home the most unusual people, little brother..."

Inuyasha glared at the still-laughing Kagura. "Shut up!"

Kagura caught her breath. "No, you shut up you little fuck!" she replied, still trying not to laugh.

Sesshoumaru shook his head in amusement and stood up. "I suppose you should go home before Naraku blows up your house...again, right, Kagura?"

Kagura sighed. "I suppose," she said. She kissed him goodnight, and when Inuyasha laughed, she shot the younger guy the bird and left for home. "Why does Naraku ruin everything I try to do?" she muttered to herself randomly. "I wonder if I could ever stop him..."

* * *

A/N: We (Sioned and Skittlez) sincerely hope you enjoyed this little fanfiction. Please review! 


End file.
